Too cute turns into too funny

My darling 2 yr old has made a habit of send.ing Daddy out the door every morning with a "Bye Daddy. Love you!" and blowing a kiss. Never gets old. Very cute. This morning we had a new spin on things. Hubby was in the kitchen filling his travel mug and kissing me goodbye. 2 yr old walks over and says "You stay home." Daddy says, "I have to go to work. I'll see you later." 2 yr old says,"No. You stay home." Daddy says "I gotta go. I love you." Mommy says "Come on. We'll see Daddy later." Daddy and Mommy chatter a few more minutes and walk toward the front door and find a 2yr old with his body thrown agaist the door with feet splayed. We giggle. The 2 yr old says "No. You stay." I take hubby's mug and he picks up the child. Big hug and reassurance, "Daddy will be home early tonight." I say "Come with Mommy." Nothing doing. So cute, so endearing. "Sweetie, Daddy has to leave. " "Um, nope!"says the small one. "Come on." says Mommy. "Let's go get some gum while Daddy is at work." "Bye Daddy. Love you!" says the 2yr old as he slides down Daddy's leg and goes to the kitchen. He did pause to blow a kiss.

The post script here is fun. So, does Daddy go to work feeling loved and needed after the adorable scene? Or, does Daddy go to work pondering how quickly he is replaced by a piece of gum.

My new plan - Bible time

So. This morning I woke up at 6am and said to myself, "Why am I awake?" Okay, so I guess I will feed the baby and read a book. I have been working myself through the "Grub and Stakers" series from Charlotte MacLeod. This morning I thought, "I could read a lot of bible in the same time I take to read a chapter or two of a mystery." So I opened up to the book of Matthew. This month the kids have been watching the movie "Matthew" with Bruce Marchiano and following along in their bibles. There are a few verses in there that I don't think I have ever actually read for myself before. God has such a quirky sense of humor. He just ties things together and reinforces what you think is right. Pastor Mark was preaching this morning on living generously. One of his 4 points was that we need to give God our first time in our day. Since the first thing I do every day is feed the baby, I can spend that time reading or studying or praying instead of just occupying myself. So far so good. Let's see how long I can keep it up. 31 days is a habit!

My new plan - weight

With this last baby, I am officially the heaviest I have ever been. This really irritates me. I put on weight the whole time I was nursing Lucy 10 years ago, 40 lbs in 9mths. I am NOT doing that again! I can say that because I think it was mostly from bored eating, depressed eating, and pouting eating. I am back to my "Weigh Down" mentality. Brilliant concept, flawed theology. I started Wednesday and I already dropped 5 lbs of what I can only assume was water weight. The irony is that part of my reclaiming my life plan is that I put a glass of water in the fridge. When I open the fridge, I see the glass and it triggers my brain to think before I eat. If I am eating to entertain or coddle myself, I take a drink and close the fridge. I also have resigned myself to posting my weight on the homemaking Yahoo group when it changes...either way. I only ever weigh myself at my mil's house since she has a scale and I don't. This helps because I don't obsess about it.

So here is my plan:
Step 1 - Water glass in fridge, water bottle in headboard
Step 2 - Reduce visual food temptations
Step 3 - Gum available for when I feel my jaws need to be active
Step 4 - Menus laid out in advance WITH TIME FRAMES!
Step 5 - Post progress on website.

Fed up with myself

I am on the wagon. I guess that is as good a start as any. I am drastically cutting back on my unneeded eating time wasting electronic indulgences. I have recently realized that I have just been wandering around from one digitalized distraction to another while stuffing my face without realizing I am wasting my whole day. I am back to my "Weigh Down" mentality. I started Wednesday and I already dropped 5 lbs of what I can only assume was water weight. The irony is that part of my reclaiming my life plan is that I put a glass of water in the fridge. When I open the fridge, I see the glass and it triggers my brain to think before I eat. If I am eating to entertain or coddle myself, I take a drink and close the fridge. I also have resigned myself to posting my weight on our home organizing Yahoo group when it changes...either way. I only ever weigh myself at my mil's house since she has a scale and I don't. This helps because I don't obsess about it. I have recommitted to re-claiming my life. The last 2 years, we didn't even put up our Christmas decorations because the clutter deterred me from the attempt. I am not going to let that happen this year. My challenge to myself is this: Let's see if I can get to the point that I can invite Dad for Christmas without cringing! Having aired these plans outside of my own head should elevate my feeling of accountablity.

Happy Birthday to me

I was sitting down to the computer to play the payday shuffle and the sun started to come up. I guess that means it is officially my birthday. Mom told me she watched the sun come up in the delivery room. So then I start to ponder whether anyone in my house will remember and start to feel slightly sorry for myself. I logged into my Yahoo doll group and the top post is a special friend that I met in Ohio saying Happy Birthday to me. Yep, God uses everyone in your life, even online friends.

I feel better, the sunrise is shining in on me, and all the kids are contented at the moment. Now is the time to go and get my bible and see what God has to say to me today. I think what I need to do is then print out a verse and put it on the microwave or somewhere else prominent so I remember at 2 o'clock when I am ready to pull my hair out.

Let me just put in a disclaimer here. I am happy with my life, this blog is all about the moments when it is either therapy (too expensive), running away (too juvenile), or resorting to the fetal position (scares the kids). When I need to just let off the steam, and rant for awhile. Keeps me from smacking someone. I use to say "therapy or bubble wrap, you choose" but now bubble wrap is like a precious commodity. So, blog it out of your system.

theoretical theological question

How do you forgive someone who refuses to admit that they did something wrong? If you are put in a position where you know someone did something despicable, but no one can prove it and they claim it didn't happen, how do you get closure? I tried reading "Forgiving the dead man walking" to get some perspective. She has some very valid points, but how about when the person who wrongs you is not viewed any differently by anyone else because no one else knows? What about when you have to see that person almost every day of your life? What about when other members of your family don't believe that person did anything wrong? What about when they say flat out that you are the one lying?
I don't know what the answers are, I can only guess that what I learn from the experience will someday help me reach out to someone else in a similar situation. I try to remember what Gary said in Sunday school. The things like this that happen are the times when you are "building your witness". Maybe some day I will write a book on the situation since I couldn't find one to help me figure it out. God has a plan that is bigger than me. God has a plan that is bigger than my family. God has a plan even for the person who wronged my family. ... I hate rationalizing,

Shopping for clothes

Now I am thinking about clothes shopping. I find a really big problem for me is that I almost choke when I see the price tags. I wind up buying inferior stuff or things that don't compliment my wardrobe because I don't want to spend so much for good things that I really like, or I see a bargain and can't pass it up. Does it matter that the pants are only $2 if they are sea green and I can't wear it with anything I own? Is it smart to replace my wore out stained blouses with 3 colors I like of a top that is cheap when I try it on and the style just isn't flattering?
Shopping with kids means you don't have the time to try stuff on, but it seems self-indulgent to ask someone to watch your kids so you can go buy clothes. So you either buy what ever you can fling in the cart without cringing from the cost, or never buy anything to wear because you would just have to return it if it didn't fit.
Clothing manufacturers aren't helping either. A pair of jeans that fit great from Old Navy are not the same size as a comfortable pair from Chic. Each line has to have their own catchy descriptions to copyright, so a relaxed fit from one might or might not be the same as a comfort fit from another. And of course, why do women have to buy medium, large, and extra large; 12, 16, and 20; when men's' shirts can be bought by sleeve length and collar size and pants come in waist and inseam measurements? Even men's underwear is by a measurement and ours is a vague number. Wait, I know why, we don't want to have to shop by telling everyone our measurements. Would you rather buy a package of underwear that says "my hips are 42 inches!"?

New school year, new challenges

I love the challenge of being a mom. I love the overall experience. This year it is a whole new ballgame. I have done "mom with an nursing baby and a 2 yr old" and I have done "homeschooling 2 grade levels at once". Both were interesting, challenging and rewarding. I am praying that I can handle playing both roles at once.
It is something else entirely to be trying to explain 4th grade math and 2nd grade spelling as you chase a toddler while feeding a 2 month old. Oh, and also plan menus, do laundry, attend meetings, clean up in general...and what was that other thing? I remember now, find personal quiet time to maintain a personal relationship with your Lord and Savior! That was it. It keeps slipping my mind. Well, when I discover what quiet time is, I promise that it belongs to you God.
I know that sounds sarcastic, but that is what goes on inside mind of a mom during the daily roller coaster ride of joyous triumphs and crushing lows of having kids in your life. I remember the times when I was young and naive. I thought that you reached a point in life where you have attained what you planned and everything goes smoothly after that. Well, the problem with that is the "what YOU planned" part. The bible doesn't say "I know the plans YOU have made for yourself and I will help you achieve YOUR goals" The verse I am thinking pertains here is, "For I know the plans I have made for you says the Lord"Jer 29:11 (NIV)
We get way too bogged down in what we want out of life. Notice that I didn't say need. Our planet is overloaded with people who can't tell the difference. When you don't have to worry about food, clothing, and shelter, you start fooling yourself into thinking the what you simply have to have is entertainment. What we think is important would seem so incredibly outlandish to half of the population of the globe.
The other half of that verse, is important too. That first part is to show us that we have a purpose and God didn't just plop us down on this planet to amuse each other until our time runs out. The second half shows that God isn't interested in pushing us around to do unpleasent things. "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." God wants what is best for us. He wants our lives to be joyful and fufilling. The issue that stands in our way is that He gave us "free will" and He doesn't violate that. If you decide to turn away from what you know you should do, He'll let you! It is your choice. He will allow you to run around and chase after happiness until you finally fall on your face and you have no choice let but to look UP.